Friday, February 10, 2017

Mah Week (Jan 22, 2017)

Me and my cute companions
I don't know if Satan has been working on me really hard lately, or if I really am just getting worse and worse at being a missionary!! This week I have felt like quite a failure at everything I do (especially at speaking Korean and following the Holy Ghost) so it has been a bit of a tough week. Stat-wise, our week was awesome! And we saw a lot of miracles this week, including three new investigators. I am fairly sure that two will get baptized!! They are adorable 20 year old girls...twins! I am excited to see them progress. I love them already! But despite the stats success, I have been feeling a little down. Here is a special experience I had this week that helped me know that Heavenly Father hadn't forgotten me:

(Journal Entry from 01.17.17)
Yesterday we met with our investigator 관. She is adorable! And since December she's read the BOM all the way to the end of Alma. So golden and sweet, but the only problem is that she works on Sundays. Anyway, she is a miracle. But being in a trio can be a bit difficult. Also yesterday  when we taught her, a member came and taught with us. So it was four Koreans, and me (odd numbers are hard!) And they were all talking so fast and always looking at each other, never me, and my companions were teaching so great, and I felt like an idiot. All day I had been thinking and pondering and praying about this lesson -- but then at the lesson I realized that I was 100% not needed, and so I felt sad. During the lesson people just kept talking, and I felt useless. Of course I wasn't mad at my companions and the member, I was proud of them and thankful that they were doing so well. But I started thinking and wondering and praying again, "God, why do you want me here? Why did you have me transfer to a new area into a trio on my last transfer? I don't feel needed. I want to serve Thee but I am not even needed here. If there is something you want me to say in this lesson, please help me to know. If it is best for the investigator if I don't talk, then I won't talk. But please give me an opportunity to do missionary work." I prayed like that throughout the lesson, and by the end of the lesson I had probably only talked/taught for one minute. I thought, "hmm. This must be the answer to my prayer. God didn't need me tonight."  I KNOW TALKING ISN'T IMPORTANT AND THAT THE SPIRIT IS THE TEACHER. But I felt like I was an un-needed instrument in God's hands. So it was a bit of a sad night. We left the lesson and on the way to ride the subway (perks of Daejeon!) GOD LET ME BE HIS TOOL. He sent a direct answer to my prayers. He showed me that He needed me and I wasn't useless. We were power walking through the station and all of the sudden I heard quick steps behind me and a voice say," Are you also a student here? I turned around and there was a beautiful, tall, bright and smiley girl named L from Singapore!! We talked and rode the subway together, and talked some more. Probably for 20 minutes And I was/am so thankful for that opportunity -- I could feel that God was using me in His hands. I felt the Spirit testifying through me as I talked and shared my testimony of God and Christ. She kept saying, "Wow, this is amazing." She was a special answer to my prayer! Unfortunately, she doesn't have texting except for Kakao talk. So (once again perks of Daejeon) we used Sister Madsen's iPhone, found her on facebook, and invited her to lunch (member lesson with Sister Madsen! Sweet!) I hope and pray she says yes. I know God hears our prayers, knows our hearts, and truly has a plan for each of us."

We still haven't gotten an answer from L, I really hope she answers. But whether or not she answers, SHE was an answer to me from God, telling me that He still remembered me and loved me. 

Love,
Sister Beckett

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