Friday, December 9, 2016

Here's My Letta! (Dec 4, 2016)

This was at our service activity--on the right is my first greenie that I trained, Sister J! It is always SO GOOD to see her. She has progressed so much and is training now! I am so proud of her and I really love her.
This week I had a special experience where I really felt my Savior's love, and felt that He truly understands EVERYTHING that I am going through and feeling. Lately I have been feeling like an ultra failure, especially at Korean. Just little things everyday have made me feel like the biggest loser ever. On Saturday, Sister Park and I ordered food to our house for lunch because we were out of food at our house (don't worry, we will go grocery shopping today!)  Sister Park didn't want to call to make the order, so I did. When the delivery man came, he said to Sister Park, "Why did you have someone bad at Korean order? It was hard to understand! You should have done it!" And I lost it!  I had already been feeling so low lately, and that was kind of my last crushing moment. I just sat at my desk and silently cried and cried. Sometimes I feel invisible, misunderstood, misrepresented and alone. So as I sat at my desk, crying and wishing to go home, I had a thought come to my head that Jesus Christ was the most alone and misunderstood person to ever live. 

I thought and sat thinking " Why don't the Koreans even appreciate my effort? Don't they know how hard this is? Don't they know that I am trying my best and that the reason I am doing this is because I want to help them? Then why do they ignore my? Why do they always only talk and look to my Korean companions? Why don't they give me a chance?" And the thought that came was once again about Jesus Christ.  I am sure He had (and still has) the same thoughts, in a much deeper way. "Why don't they appreciate my sacrifice? Don't they know how hard this is/was  for me? Don't they know the reason I am doing this all is for them? Why do they ignore me? Why don't they give me a chance?" 

When this thought came to my mind, I felt gratitude and comfort from my Savior. Somebody DOES perfectly understand me. Jesus Christ. Sometimes I think nobody can understand how alone and invisible I sometimes feel, but CHRIST DOES. And I am so thankful and comforted by that. But I am not telling you this to worry you -- I am doing good now! I just wanted to share this experience, because through this experience my testimony of Jesus Christ and His Atonement was strengthened. I know that Jesus Christ has walked our path before, and is walking it again WITH us. He loves us and He understands us in every situation. And I know that we can be strengthened through His Atoning sacrifice if we take time to remember Him.
Here I am with Elder Wesley Allen from Grantsville, and my MTC comp Sis M!!

Now, Random Questions:

1. Are you all participating in the church's service initiative? And have you all got the service calendars and seen the video and all that? It is AWESOME! On Dec. 1 our whole mission (in our respective zone) and missionaries ALL over the world participated in the world-wide service day. We delivered these charcoal who-knows-what that help people stay warm in the winter. It was so fun and dirty!! And the little grandma who we delivered to (we delivered enough to her house to last all winter) was so thankful. And while we were moving the surprisingly heavy charcoal she would come put candy in our mouths. I also asked her to roll up my sleeves for me because my hands  were black and she was happy to help. It was so cute. Mom, you would be proud of my because I volunteered to do the most difficult part! I had to lift all of the charcoals and walk it up a little hill! So the grandma was also cheering me on. Haha. Afterwards we went to her little house-type thing and washed our black hands in a bucket of water. She was so thankful and happy! It was a good and humbling experience.
Sister Missionaries service! I'm holding the charcoal thing.
2. Is our cousin Ty on the title page of the Conference Liahona?! Or is it his twin? Or did I forget what he looks like?

3.Can you ask Bishop Bartley to let me work in the primary or nursery after I get back? I miss kids.

4. One thing that has really helped me in learning and applying what I learned from general conference is something that Elder Bednar taught us when he visited. This is what he does, and he suggested that we do it, too. It is an awesome method! Take the prophet, counselors, and apostles' talks and one by one mark three things in different colors 1. Doctrines or principles taught 2. What we should do 3. Promised blessings. I have done this to only two talks so far, but it is really incredible how much more I have learned and seen HOW to apply what I have learned, and WHAT blessings I will receive if I apply what I learned. Also when I look back at the talks it helps me immediately identify the most important parts. Really awesome! Today I did it with Elder Christofferson's talk called "Abide in My Love" WHAT AN AWESOME TALK!  Please all read that talk this week, and mark it up like Elder Bednar taught. You will learn so much and you will DEFINITELY feel God's love for you more. I know that I did! 

Well, my time is up so I must go. Have a great week!


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